The sign that we need to move closure to our outer edge is fear. When we are afraid to pray, when we are fearful of going to church, when we shudder at the thought of reading the Bible, when we are scared to help someone else, we need to pursue our spiritual outer edge.
There have been times in my life when I have succumbed to this fear. It produces a lethargy and apathy that inhibits. These times have often surrounded difficulties in my life: when I have had someone close to me die, when I have changed a job, or when I have moved far from family and friends. In these times I have found myself atrophied as if I was standing in hardening cement. All of my spiritual engery has seemingly poured out of me. At these times, praying seems pointless. Going to church seems as if running a marathon. Opening the Bible seems like lifting a boulder.
Yet, in giving into this fear, the fear of what will happen if I push myself spiritually, is debilitating. When I have pushed myself spiritually, in spite of my fear, I am rewarded. The reward can be simply this: When I have stepped into the divine silence, I find that I am loved. When I open the Scriptures and read, I find that I am cared for. When I serve others, I am served. And that makes all the difference.
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